It was advised to me recently that I should start blogging my thoughts, due to me being in the "flamer" phase of becoming a baal teshuva, or returnee to Orthodox Judaism.
It's hard to gain the support of family and friends when you've gone from being a drug using hippie to Torah studying, siddur reading, skirt wearing BT in less than a year.
It was told to me to try and avoid taking on too much at once, for it is very possible to burn out after becoming a flamer.
And there was a time, around Pesach this past year, when I was still wearing pants a few days of the week, where I told myself I'd never just flip like that. No, I'd be one of those people who takes years and years of careful consideration and study before committing to all these mitzvot.
But after a while it became less of a chore, or tourist experience and more of a joy for which to look forward, especially since returning from Israel for the first time this past summer. I can see now why observant Jews literally live for the experience of Shabbat. It is a beautiful day to reflect upon the week that just ended, and the one that is about to start.
Hopefully I will find the catharsis I am looking for during this difficult transition into a new chapter of life. All other online outlets I've tried have failed miserably thus far, and it is surely my duty to maintain this space as a conduit for positivity, and not reckless loshon hora.
Shabbat Shalom.
No comments:
Post a Comment